My Musical Life. Reinvented.
Here we are, June 2008 – almost July… that sweet sweet summer air. Wearing shorts – every day. And working – always working. And even a bit – though just a little here and there – of relaxing.
It’s been 2 years and 3 months since I made the conscious choice to rework, to take control of – to reinvent my life. It’s still (and I suspect it will continue to be) a work-in-progress. That’s a good thing. It enables me to roll with changes and adapt to different ways of working, different mindsets. The work situation has really come around (after an abysmal winter/early spring). I have students again, after a long time without; commissions from Choreographers; some session work, lots of acoustic jazz gigs – and of course the main event, Neil Alexander & NAIL. Too few gigs for my taste this summer. All the other work is definitely awesome. But I know how great the band can be. Our gig Thursday at Cafe Mozart in Mamaroneck was nothing short of pure magick for me.
I have been applying myself towards the band’s marketing; trying to come up with a significant tag line and one sentence description that really resonates with me. It continues to elude me for now… but I am spiraling in, I can feel it. Synchronistic events are building around me, around my intention. As is said. where your put your attention, energy follows. I am putting 150% percent into the band, and the energy certainly comes back at least as far as our shows are concerned. I have also been working on my open mindedness; letting go of fear on the bandstand Obviously, I don’t want to “suck”, but for real magic to happen there needs to be a certain level of spontaneity. You can’t rehearse that, but you can be in the right frame of mind. I have a huge sonic arsenal at my disposal, samples, multiple synths, etc. I found I was actually afraid to use them, sticking to my few “primary sounds”. I think this is in part to being nervous about the band – having to cue them, making sure we’re at the same place in the music, the “right” feel (this can change – thats the spontaneity I was referring to), etc. I guess it’s also about me being comfortable on stage, letting my imagination go. BUT NOW – the band is so together, so on the same page. Nadav Zelniker and Charlie Kniceley – the magick really happens with these cats, to an extraordinary degree. I find myself and the group in that ever-so-exciting uncharted territory, where anything can happen musically. It’s a place I think most musicians dream about. I know I sure have. Point is, I was so comfortable on Thursday night I found myself using sounds and samples I hadn’t used in months. And playing things differently – old tunes taking on completely new life, in the most wonderful way. I was ecstatic. The audience could feel it too. We were on fire – breaking new ground, forging and working our truly original sound.
I should mention that for me personally, there are other factors at play. Making a continuous conscious choice to be positive. Staying in the moment (day to day, all the time). And learning finally to believe in myself, in whatever project I’m involved in. It’s really starting to add up.
Another factor is a book I just read. I can’t stress the personal significance of this book for me. It’s not that it’s “so great” (it actually is, but….), but it helped me reconnect with a part of myself that I had all but forgotten. I actually did forget, for many years. When I remembered, I think I only remembered what happened – not how I felt. This book brought me back and helped me reconnect with how I felt at a specific time in my life – a time of infinite possibility and connection.
And then a remarkable event took place in my mind – I was able to connect a lot of dots, of lot of disparate elements of my life, taking a great step towards a cohesive whole. I’d done it with music. Now it’s time to hook up the rest of my experiences. This completeness, along with a new-found level of musical trust and openess, is why I think we excelled on Thursday. It was so happening, I find myself relaxing – even though we don’t have that many shows, I’m less worried. It’s an awesome feeling.
As for the aforementioned book, I’m going to save it’s description, as well as it’s significance for me, for another post… Trust me, I’ll get to it.
For now, a new slogan has emerged: THIS BAND BLOWS MINDS. (A takeoff on Woody Guthrie’s “this machine kills fascists” sticker on his guitar.)
Ok World – NAIL is here.
I love you all – be well!